Chapter 19

There were times when she feels that she doesn’t need to be in relationship. There were times when she thought to herself that being all by herself is better as it is. But what is really right and what is really wrong. As long as it makes her happy, isn’t that the most important thing?
There were numerous points that can be pointed out for as to why one is better than the other. She knew that both situations either to be in a relationship or to remain out of relationship has its own pro and cons. Depending on what is the objective of her life at that point in time, she should just make decision on what will make her more happy and comfortable.

Being single is not all that bad. Being single let you know yourself a little closer and it allows one to grow up and be more independent. She needed the space of being alone, she is able to make her own decision without having to think about someone else’s needs or rather without being influenced by someone. It’s not that it is all bad to have someone to think of, but when considering other makes you restrict yourself from being more and great, that is really a situation to be scrutinized.

Once she was given the opportunity to study abroad. Her dad gave her the choice to choose either to go over to Australia, United Kingdom, and Ireland, New Zealand or any other places of her choice. But she was dumb enough to thanks, but no thanks. Was she even in a correct state of mind to actually throw the opportunity away? YES to others but NO to her at that point of time. You see she was really in love with her ex-bf. She was a very darling gf. He obviously dislikes the idea. She doesn’t want her bf to worry sick about her. And she herself hated the thoughts of being away from him. Not forgetting that the lifestyle is obviously going to be different, there’s not gonna be night time shopping session and there won’t be frappuccino session with her close friends. She just couldn’t imagine life far away from her parents.

Above all that’s been said, she acted and makes a dumb decision. She now realizes that she should have grabbed the chance while it’s there. She should have take up the challenge. Girls, if the guy loves you as much as he said he did, then he will wait for you no matter how long how far you are.

She really regretted it. But she also knows that there’s no need to dwell in it. She accept ted that it’s her very own decision and so she has to stand by her decision and the consequences. She tells herself to learn from it instead of crying over it. Suck it up and move on to achieve the better.
Being single let her sees things clearly and let her to slowly know herself. Being single let her focus on what she wanted in life. So that there will not be any more regrets and mistakes.
She is very thankful of everything that happens. Mistakes are not bad, life is not about how many mistakes you managed to avoid. Life is about going and living through it, making mistakes is human nature, brave to deal with mistakes and improvise is what matters. That what makes you wiser, tougher and that what makes you who you are.

♥

Chapter 18

As she grew older, she realized that ultimately she was alone with herself most of the time. Though it might seem and look lonely, but honestly she grew to like it. Being independent was what she needed most in her life. One thing that some people don’t understand in life is that you come to the world alone and alone you’ll go back. So being alone is actually nothing new and shouldn’t be something worrying. There were many people around her, but seriously what matters is “Me, Myself and I”. And if one can stand being with oneself, she believes that one can stand almost anything.

She was on her way back from office. Driving though the traffic jam and so she often thinks to herself and self talk. She question herself the same thing the others were questioning her. “What is it that you are looking for? What is your preference?”

Well to be honest, she doesn’t know. Cause if she knew what precisely it is, she wouldn’t be here after all. She knows what her preference are and what she dislike, but in things like thing, there’s no right or wrong and there’s no pointing to what I want and should be. She believes it to be coming naturally. The way it should be with no interference. But at times she doubt it would happen the way she pictured it. She was a fairy tale girl. Everything she pictured is mostly fairytale like. But in this world, there’s no fairytale and fantasy. Everything works differently. There’s a very small chance of fairytale.

All she ever wanted in short is pretty much what all girls want. Someone who really love her with all his heart, who is honest to her for anything and everything, who is mature enough to accept her imperfections unconditionally for who she is and what she’ll become. As she will do the same for him.

She’s looking for someone who will say,
“I love you today, more than yesterday, less than tomorrow…”

♥

Chapter 17

She is taking one step at a time. There are actually too many paths that one can choose in living life. She finally opens up her eyes and she sees that there’re so many people out there. Those who wanted to be her friend. Those whom she never seems to notice before. But the questions here really are, “How do you differentiate who and who? How do you assess before you even be friends or rather close friends?”. She’s not trying to be choosy or what not. But as a girl, it’s only fair that a girl should be careful (extra careful that is) in relating and opening up to others. There got to be some sort of a filtering mechanism. She knows that people might think that she’s trying to give it a hard try or try to pull off a little but really it’s not about being snobbish. It’s more of trying to protect herself from any sort of unnecessary pain and embarrassment. She has gone through some occasions that somewhat in a way created some form of biasness when it comes to guys who wanted to come near her.

There was once, this guy whom she know from her previous work place was trying to get close to her, he was trying so hard, (i.e. texting, emailing, bumping into her and all sort of ways) he even asked her out more or less on a date but she want ready to accept new friends at that time. She was not into socializing rather she was D’ Queen of Emo, and so she rejected his offer for dates. Only 3 months later she found out that the guy had just gotten married. “What?!” she just couldn’t believe it. He was just asking her out like really trying out his luck and he’s now married?
The one thing that she’s annoyed is not the fact that he’s married, she couldn’t care less about him being married. If you carefully think back, normal duration of time taken for preparation to get married is 6 months to a year and the least is 3 months before wedding date. And so rationally even if he is not engaged or even if he has not set the date for his wedding at that time which is 3 months ago, he must have been dating his wife as a couple (girlfriend boyfriend) right??? And he was asking her out around the same time??? That is what really pissed her off. How dirty and low can he be, he just grossed her out.

And she was thinking to herself, it’s her luck to not give a face to that guy in the first place. Who knows what would be the consequences of the overall situation had she given in and went out with him. She would be fooled and lied to. See that’s among some of the instances that lead her to being extra careful when it comes to guys. Most are not genuinely real in being friends. Most are just a conned fella. Not all but most. To eventually accidently having met or find the selected ones are gonna be quite a ride for her.

You surely must have heard of that saying on how you have to kiss a few frogs before you get to kiss your very own Prince Charming…

♥

Chapter 16

And so that was what she thought and that was what she was hoping for, a peace of mind. A chance to start over. She is finally ready to move on. But wait, he still calls her?! And he still text her?!
“Aaahhhhh…!” she yells out of frustration. She doesn’t want to think about it anymore. There’s never gonna be an ending to this.

A friend (male friend) once told her of several general facts about guy:
1) A Guy will never be able to find a girl like who they’ve met before
2) A Guy will forever try his luck at any given circumstances even if he is already married with a child
3) A Guy will never let go of you if you still left the invisible rope hanging there for him to grope…

And so it got her thinking… there’s no point to dwell over something which is beyond her control. There’s nothing that she can do if he stills want to linger around. The best that she can do is to move on and avoid any possible invisible rope there is for him to grope on. Though she know that it ain’t going to be easy but that is what she’s gonna do.

Moving on…

♥