There are several occasions where she would be soft hearted and replied to his text and at times she picks up his calls. Several times she opens up her heart again, believing that he could have change for her. She does miss him a lot. But after all the chances that she has been giving him, she was broken hearted again and again. Just when she thought that she might be able to trust him back, he went and blew it up.
Instead of impressing her and trying to make it up to her to prove that he really do deserve her, that he really want to work it out, he went out partying and still has not make the initiative to stop drugs, improve on life to finish up school on time and start to making a living. He was expecting her to accept him as he is, accept his life style though he knows that she would never be able to accept that kinda life style. He tried convincing her with his mere words and promises. But by now, she is not blinded with love anymore, she is determined to be out of the state of denial. He is just saying all those stuffs to ensure that she will be by his side. He gives her false hope, and she was holding to it as tight as she can.
Because of him, she stayed single for 3 years after the breakup. She didn’t even try opening up her heart to others. Not even to a new friendship. It really took a tow on her. She was consistently depressed. She’s learning on how to cope with moving on. She was fine and happy on the outside, but really no one knows what she is feeling. Though he was also single throughout the entire 3 years of breakup, it was different for guys. She really cares about what he would feel. She doesn’t want him to be hurt of her actions. So she restricted herself from even mixing with guys up to the extent that she doesn’t even want to be pictured together with her male friends. She really does care. However, he was doing the opposite. He was trying to create and start a fight with her of some sort. He didn’t behave to keep his act together. He went out partying, drugs and socializing. She was hurt by all of those, but putting bet on believing that the love that she has is true and strong, she closed one eye. She was giving up a lot for this relationship. She really do want him to change for the better. Not for the sake of her, but for the sake of himself and the future there is to be.
I guess its hard to for her, it hard for her to accept the fact that the person that she knew long time ago, the one who she grew together with, the loving person that she once knew.. has turn into this guy... this guy who she doesnt know anymore....
